Ownership is new to me

I had to let you verbally punch me
to see the damage I had caused.
Indirectly, mistakenly
I had inflicted such harm!
I didn't know.
I can't help it.
I know better,
but so do you.
We brought the battle home
when this used to a safezone.
I've lived this before,
but it wasn't this at all.
You're not him,
for this I am glad.
You couldn't be him.
But am I the same?
Am I worse?
I no longer blame
all these others.
I created what I have become.
I became one of those girls,
the ones that I don't respect.
I became her.
It won't happen.
It can't.
I have help now.
I'm scratchin down my walls
in hope of seeing the light.
My hell isn't yours.
It shouldn't have to be.
It won't be.