7 steps to walk away

I watch your eyeballs bounce.
Do I scare you?
I should.
You have made me a cannon.
When I go off it won't be good.
You know this,
yet you push.
Changing direction now,
you were never worth the ammo.
I cement this cannon shut.
No longer will I aim to destroy.
I planted a garden in your name.
Not because you are worth it,
but because I am aiming high now.
I am better without knowing it.
I never had to tell you
because you knew this all along.
Hate yourself instead.
I never stepped in your way
as you did with me.
Remember that.

Ripped postcard

I follow all the right tunnels,
none ever have what I am looking for at the end.
He whispers to me ,
yet the redundancy makes my mind drift.
Oh look how shiny!
The sparkle fades and I mourn.
With a life this crazy you'd think I'd have stories,
but I don't.
You track my moves like an animal,
waiting for my failures.
I googled myself yesterday.
Odd. abrasive. Intrusive.
But that's what you wanted!
Did I?
Will you remember me tomorrow
if I were to cure a disease?
No, but you'd remember only failures
and when I fell on my face.
But this is okay with me.
Acceptance is half the battle.
Why try to change,
when the end is always so clear?
Mark this words,
I chose this.
Kick it around for awhile
until it means something to you.
Because obviously I don't,
nor do you to me.