into the deep

I've paddled upstream too long
Against currents meant to take me
My arms shake from exhaustion
I just can't anymore
I refuse
Dropping my oars
I surrender
Breathing deep
I enjoy the breeze on my face
It's been too long
I wasted too much time
Struggling to escape
To only find another watery prison

Dr's office

You purposely stood up to take the seat in front of me.  That was very bold, do we have a staring contest now?  Don't expect me to look away first, it's not in my nature anymore. As I thought...you cave. It's laughable really. Do I look like the type? You are so sadly mistaken.

I'm not buying you another pair

We tap out this dance

always being oh so careful

not to scuff our shoes.

We don't want any proof

of all our wrong steps.

Parents remind us

of all the hard earned money spent

because we chose to dance.

Show us what our money disappeared for,

check by check.

Dance baby....

Is that all you've got?

Sadly, we do our best moves

when no one is watching.

Imaginary roses cover our feet,

as the thorns slash us unrecognizable.

LMC

You opened my eyes
So terrifying and thrilling
Teach me
Train me
Never forget me
You see everything
So deep and unapologetic
Explore me
Control me
Never forget me
You surprise me constantly
So creative and passionate
Remind me
Resuscitate me
Never forget me
You make it seem possible
Seduce me
Own me
Just never forget me

I am a coward
I hide behind you as an excuse
To shield the world from my ugly soul
My frayed lining is too black and burnt
To salvage any memories
I regress
But you see this
It's fine
Saying it out loud makes it okay
Needing to sponge light from anyone
Need to find light from any pinhole
It's time for a new face
If the old one doesn't devour it whole

Skipping away

I'm glad that you don't care for me anymore. It's fine really. I'm not the same person, and I'm sure that this new me wouldn't choose you. Separate paths, separate lives......they just grew apart.....perhaps. I'm loving that the pain and need is gone. Loving that I love myself enough to shake my head and walk away smiling.

smeary handprints

I knew you yesterday,
when you took challenge with delight.
We ran together
into the fight.
Bloodied and beaten
we'd snicker and smile,
dust ourselves off..
haven't been there in awhile.
Honesty comes,
first time you give up...
truth's always there
at the bottom of the cup.

Clover

Finding a pulse
on something in me
Trying to find
what I useta see
But I don't have you there
like you used to be
You're not meaning what
you once did to me
Times have changed
and I blame myself
Things were uttered,
situations I couldn't help
Don't even want to
go where we were before
Not sure sure you fit in
to what I have in store

blind faith buys you some

Never claimed
to be good at this
Blind faith
is hard to cling to
Staying positive
does make life more attractive
Seeing daily things
I passed before in haste
I want a replay
so much more I could achieve

Sidesteps and Stumbles

He says I fight what I'm not
so much I sidestep what I am.
Fighting the tides,
I see a lot of myself there.
Why do I fight everything
that really doesn't deserve a thought?
Sitting back now.
I will let happiness seek me.