It is what it is

Seems like I've wasted so much time
Just waiting
Waiting for boys to grow up
Waiting to be loved correctly
Seems like I've been the only one
Just real
Wanting to move forward
Wanting to love correctly
Seems like I've woken up finally
Just really seeing
Wanting what's mine
Not wanting to apologize for it

Silently waiting

I'm okay
A little weathered
A wiseman said
This can't last forever
I've proved my worth
I've given my all
I shut my eyes
Surrendered to the fall
I stand here smiling
I'm not broken at all
Catching my breath
From the speed of the fall
I see it so clearly
It was here all the time
Just had to accept
That this really is mine

Hologram

You think she doesn't notice
Well I know damn well she sees
How obsessed you are with yourself
Clinging to your mental disease
In years she will remember
She will know I was there
You were given opportunities
Experiences you refused to share
Don't cry to me later
When she doesn't call
Don't get all weepy
She's already brushed herself off from the fall
Abandonment is a choice
Yeah your body was physically here
You didn't fight the closet monsters
Or wipe away her millions of tears

PEACE

I'd rather put my head in a woodchipper
Then ever stay with you
I hate who you've become
And what you put me through
Walking forward feels so good
As I quicken up my pace
I refuse to speak to you anymore
You're way too satisfied lying to my face

It could go either way

My toes curl over the edge
I've been staring down too long
It's time
Maybe there's a party down there
Maybe there's friends cheering
Maybe there's cake and balloons
Maybe there's nothing

I hold my breath
Shifting my weight forward,
I close my eyes
It's time
Maybe there's a giant field of sunflowers
Maybe there's birds singing sweetly
Maybe there's good wine and a picnic
Maybe there's nothing

Long walk home

Walking fast now
I can finally see
What is going
To become of me
I've thought too long
I've offered to you
At the end
Please see it through
I've walked alone
Many times before
I enjoy your company
More than before
Hate to admit it
Hate sounding like a girl
It is never my intention
To destroy your world

action cat can't

Must get better at listening
To the spaces in between
Maybe it'll save the heartache
When you are not as you seem
Must have drowned my doubts
In the thousand different cups
Never fixing, always blaming
For all of my screw ups
If we are real for a minute
Please just hear me say
Everyday I walk this path
I'm fading further away

bedtime story

I wipe my tears as I close the book of us.  In reality, I always knew that I'd have to bring it back sooner or later. It was never mine, stolen from the cart of books on reserve for others.  I must looked through it thousands of times in the past few weeks, trembling and tortured. Never have I felt that the author understood me so well and was guiding me along so patiently. Just couldn't help myself and tore off the corner of the best page as a momento, I can't leave empty handed. Despite it's bent and dented cover, it will always be my favorite story.

Poet of tacos

She skates through sour cream
In this dream she holds inside
Her mad love of tacos
She refuses to hide
Load them up
Make them supreme
She'll measure today's
To all that she's seen
The quest for meat and cheese
Oh it never ends
You don't like Mexican food
Guess you can't be friends

That's not Natalie

I woke up someone
I did not know
Tried to tell you
But you had to go
They are all their own
I can't keep up
Randomly popping in
Just to see what's up
I have to wonder
Which one will stay
My search for the constant
I change day to day
For once I'm okay
Spinning out of control
No matter where I land
I know you love my soul