That's not Natalie

I woke up someone
I did not know
Tried to tell you
But you had to go
They are all their own
I can't keep up
Randomly popping in
Just to see what's up
I have to wonder
Which one will stay
My search for the constant
I change day to day
For once I'm okay
Spinning out of control
No matter where I land
I know you love my soul

Val

I finally killed
That ugly girl
Who's constantly trying
To take down my world
I had warned her to hush
It's not only me
She's silencing parts
I need him to see
As her body sinks
I can't look away
Made sure she heard
What I had to say
Though I still mourn her
The pictures stay there
Silent assassin
I no longer share

Mr Pity Party

Am I watching the same movie
Because this seems insane
Really starting to wonder
If I'm the last with a brain
The logic's all jumbled
Your scheme's not legit
The soonest I can
Trust that I'll quit

please sir..

Diving deep
Into my mind
Drowning happily
How complex I'm designed
Secret pathways
Hidden stairs
Locked up yesterdays
Now I'm prepared
Breathe it in
Can't lock you out
Drown in sin
Forget the doubt
The door's unlocked
You know what to do
I long to be rocked
But only by you

into the deep

I've paddled upstream too long
Against currents meant to take me
My arms shake from exhaustion
I just can't anymore
I refuse
Dropping my oars
I surrender
Breathing deep
I enjoy the breeze on my face
It's been too long
I wasted too much time
Struggling to escape
To only find another watery prison

Dr's office

You purposely stood up to take the seat in front of me.  That was very bold, do we have a staring contest now?  Don't expect me to look away first, it's not in my nature anymore. As I thought...you cave. It's laughable really. Do I look like the type? You are so sadly mistaken.

I'm not buying you another pair

We tap out this dance

always being oh so careful

not to scuff our shoes.

We don't want any proof

of all our wrong steps.

Parents remind us

of all the hard earned money spent

because we chose to dance.

Show us what our money disappeared for,

check by check.

Dance baby....

Is that all you've got?

Sadly, we do our best moves

when no one is watching.

Imaginary roses cover our feet,

as the thorns slash us unrecognizable.

LMC

You opened my eyes
So terrifying and thrilling
Teach me
Train me
Never forget me
You see everything
So deep and unapologetic
Explore me
Control me
Never forget me
You surprise me constantly
So creative and passionate
Remind me
Resuscitate me
Never forget me
You make it seem possible
Seduce me
Own me
Just never forget me

I am a coward
I hide behind you as an excuse
To shield the world from my ugly soul
My frayed lining is too black and burnt
To salvage any memories
I regress
But you see this
It's fine
Saying it out loud makes it okay
Needing to sponge light from anyone
Need to find light from any pinhole
It's time for a new face
If the old one doesn't devour it whole

Skipping away

I'm glad that you don't care for me anymore. It's fine really. I'm not the same person, and I'm sure that this new me wouldn't choose you. Separate paths, separate lives......they just grew apart.....perhaps. I'm loving that the pain and need is gone. Loving that I love myself enough to shake my head and walk away smiling.